Sasha

So I feel like I’ve been staring at this blinking cursor for a long time, and I’m not entirely sure how this blog post will go so bare with me if it comes out a bit scattered. These past few weeks have been great with Chic Sweets, wedding season, is full steam ahead…but like a turtle, when things aren’t great, I feel myself go inside of myself and I’m not sure why.  Well…I do…but I’m one of those weirdly superstitious people that sometimes believe that if you don’t say it out loud, it won’t happen. Yes…I know…evidently I’m nine years old.

You see…my dog, Sasha is dying of cancer.

Dying.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Sasha is a husky and has been with me for thirteen years. When I was 20 and in college, I brought her to my parents and told them the pet store had loaned her to me as part of a new “loaner program” they had. Truthfully, I had just scored a credit card on campus (free Gator shirt included) and decided that same day I wanted a  dog. But not just any dog. A husky I had my eye on for a few weeks, while working at the mall. Did it make sense, at the time? Considering I was surviving on Ramen noondes, not really. But for me, that was the start of my family, and my new beginning.

So today, I decided to come up with my own “I’m grateful” list, in honor of everything she has taught me and our family.

Sasha–

1. I’m grateful that you have watched me grow up, been there for every moment in college, snuggled with me through every tear shed over silly boys  and tolerated my drunken debaucheries (only a few mom, I swear)

2. I’m grateful for every escape you have had, the escape artist you are. You swam in the lake for hours, ran with the cows and horses and have had numerous neighbors searching for you on more than one occassion. The best escape was when you disappeared for two days, and only found you after posting numerous reward signs across town.

3. I’m grateful I have such an amazing husband that loves you more than anything and is even more sad than me that you will be leaving us soon.

4. I’m grateful you understood when our family had to grow. From you to four children your spot in the middle of our bed soon disappeared. I’m sorry for that Sash.

5. I’m grateful that you treated your brothers with love, despite their usual craziness. You always were “it” when they played hide-n-go-seek and when I saw you creep under our bed for a moment of silence, I knew why.

6. I’m grateful for every shoe you chewed up, the chocolate bunny you swallowed during Easter and to this day I still don’t know how you chewed up a corner of the bed, literally. You ate the foam, padding, everything. How did you do that?

7. I’m grateful you have taught my children huge lessons about love, sickenss and what happens when you die. My children have learned so much from the love you have shared. They amaze me with their understanding of where you will be going and when I cannot stop crying, my children are the first to remind me that you are going to “doggie heaven where doggie Jesus is.”

8. I’m grateful even though your doctor has given you no more than a few days, that you continue to run, play and hang out with your youngest brother after the others have worn you out.

9. I’m grateful for all the stories you have given me, your daddy, your abuelos and our children. So many stories that we will be able to remember you by every single day. My favorite was when you escaped and scared the wits out of our neighbor’s son who had just come home from college. You woke him up that morning with a lick and a scream.

10. Most of all, I’m grateful that I had YOU. And when your time comes, all I will be able to say that I love you and that you are the BEST dog anyone could have. Thank you for choosing me from that pet store window. Thank you, thank you, thank you Sasha.

Love, your Mommy.